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DOJO ETIQUETTE

The dojo is a safe, sacred space where we explore dangerous things

A FEW BASICS

The dojo is a formal space where we set aside our normal, casual behaviors, and temporarily adopt a more careful, respectful set of behaviors. We do this for two reasons--safety and consent. We want to constantly signal that we are safe to train with by exhibiting self control and treating the dojo and one another with profound respect and care. We also want to say with all our actions that we are ready to train, and consent to being in a martial arts class, where we are going to be pushed and challenged in all sorts of ways, and might get hurt.

This is more of a mindset than a list of things to do, but here are ten basics to get you started:

1. Upon entering the dojo, a small standing bow toward the kamiza
2. Take off your shoes and put them away upon entering the dojo
3. Before getting on the mat, a seated bow toward the kamiza
4. While in class, call the teacher Sensei
5. Line up quietly a minute or two before class starts
6. When beginning class or when bowing in with a partner, we say onegaishimasu, which means please in Japanese but it specifically connotes an attitude of service toward one another
7. When the teacher demonstrates to the class or to you individually bow at the level the teacher is
8. Be present and focused during class. Spacing out, leaning and slumping, chatting, and so forth are potentially unsafe and diminishes your partner's training as well as your own
9. Take care of your body before class, so that you can stay in class the whole hour
10. If you need to leave the mat, tell the teacher first. To get back on the mat, bow and say onegaishimasu to be invited back on

CULTIVATING THE MINDSET

A strong, sincere aikido practice is about letting yourself get forged by people who know better than you do what you are capable of. This is why all of the dojo's forms are about cultivating a mindset that sets the ego aside, is open to what is being taught, and is highly aware and responsive to what is happening. Without sincerely following a teacher and senior students, you can only go to the places you already know. There is little point in this.

This mindset is the most useful thing you're cultivating here! I encourage you to watch it with real curiosity, and tend it carefully.

While you're walking up the stairs to the dojo, take a beat. Pull the earbuds out of your ears, set your phone on silent mode, and tune in to what is in front of you. Notice how you line up your shoes, how you keep your clothes in the dressing room. If you are early, look around for something to do to help the dojo like folding towels or running over the mat with a dust mop.

While on the mat, notice whether or not you are present and open and letting the teacher and more senior students teach you. Ask yourself if you are actually doing what they say, or just being nice or tolerant. This attitude of true openness to learning, in Japanese it is called shoshin, or "beginner's mind," is the most important part of training. It comes from the student. A teacher cannot demand it, and it cannot be replaced by customs or etiquette.

Notice your strategies to avoid "beginner's mind." Your inner critic; the part of you that gets helpless and says they can't do it right; the judgmental part that says that aikido is stupid; that flooded feeling of boredom or overwhelm... those strategies are our opponents! Everything in the dojo from training itself to the fact that there is only one way to fold a towel is designed to make these parts of us leap up in protest so that we can study them. If everything on this page brings up some big resistance in you, good! You're doing it right.

Lastly, remember that your presence and attention does not just benefit you! Your partner cannot train well without your presence, your best effort, and your sincere attention. Notice whenever your partner diminishes your own training. It is a bummer! Then use that awareness to push your own training. Let it make you more sincere and present, for the good of your partner.

CAVEATS

All dojo etiquette is about creating an environment that is safe for serious martial study, and that benefits the student. The purpose of training is to build you up, not the teacher. The power you give a teacher or senior student is yours to give, not theirs to wield. You should only give it if it's helping you. You can revoke it at any time, and absolutely should if you feel unsafe or disrespected.

On the other hand, you cannot go very far down this path without seeing parts of yourself that you are working hard not to see. This can feel threatening! And to make it worse, the culture we live in makes it difficult to tolerate discomfort. The teacher's job is to push at your ego just enough to free your spirit. No teacher is going to get this right 100% of the time. If you are feeling unsafe, hurt, or offended, take a beat and ask yourself whether your spirit or your ego is being threatened. You will absolutely know the answer to this question! And if either your ego or your spirit feels unsafe, talk to me. I need to know if I am missing the mark, pushing the wrong thing, or pushing too hard. That's not my intent.

Dojo etiquette keeps us physically safe by making us more aware and ready. It also creates a special social contract that makes it spiritually safe to set aside what you think you know about yourself, take chances, and grow. It is therefore of the utmost importance that we are kind and respect one another as we are. Whether you enjoy training with someone or not, they are making themselves vulnerable to you by training with you. That gesture is a gift. It's important to treat it as such, especially if there are parts of it that are challenging!

We train together. If I am protecting myself from my own training by being dull and unresponsive, or cracking jokes, or getting tangled in my inner critic, or whatever my strategy for avoiding the real work of training is... I am not just hurting myself. I am also degrading my partner's training.

Always come talk to me if you have any questions or concerns about your training.

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