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DOJO ETIQUETTE

The dojo is a safe, sacred space where we explore dangerous things

FORMALITY

The dojo is a formal space where we set aside our normal, casual behaviors, and temporarily adopt a more careful, respectful set of behaviors. 

There's no good way to make this into a list of formal things we do. Instead, think of it as a careful, respectful, noticing attitude that shows people that you are present; that you consent to a martial arts class; and that you are safe to train with. 

You learn etiquette by noticing what is happening around you. You'll see other members bowing before entering the dojo and before getting on the mat. You'll notice everybody participating in cleanup before getting changed. You'll notice that someone is going to ask you to do something if you're standing around. 

You'll also get feedback about your behavior at the dojo. Please be open to this feedback. It's an important part of training. 

HIERARCHY AND AUTHORITY

Aikido needs the leadership of a teacher and senior students to thrive more than other martial arts because it is not competitive. At the same time, the purpose of training is to build you up, not the teacher. The power you give a teacher or senior student is yours to give, not theirs to wield on you. You should only give it if it's helping you. You can revoke it at any time.

 

While on the mat, do consider whether or not you are open and letting the teacher and more senior students teach you. This attitude of openness to learning, in Japanese it is called shoshin, or "beginner's mind," is the most important part of training. It comes from the student. A teacher cannot demand it, and it cannot be replaced by customs or etiquette. 

We use two customs to encourage shoshin. On the mat, we call the teacher "sensei," which simply means "teacher" in Japanese but is an honorific--it connotes respect for teaching. And after the sensei demonstrates, either to the group or one-on-one, students bow to them. These two customs do not replace an open attitude, but they can help you maintain one. 

If bowing to an authority figure or calling the teacher sensei brings up discomfort in you, come talk to me about it. 

Also remember that these customs are only useful on the mat. Please do not bow or refer to the teacher as sensei off the mat. 

Lastly, if you are a more advanced student, please pay attention to whether or not you are being helpful, and refrain from teaching people who are not giving you consent and an open attitude. 

SPIRITUAL SAFETY

All dojo etiquette is about creating an environment that is safe for serious martial study. By safe, I mean two things. Dojo etiquette keeps us physically safe by making us more aware and ready. It also creates a special social contract that makes it spiritually safe to set aside what you think you know about yourself, take chances, and go deep. 

An environment that is truly safe for your spirit must feel dangerous to your ego. Many of the more difficult aspects of practice are meant to check your ego, and allow your spirit to emerge. If you are feeling unsafe, hurt, or offended, take a beat and ask yourself whether your spirit or your ego is being threatened. 

Additionally, my job as a teacher is to watch you and figure out how to push at your specific ego. For a long time, simply learning how to do aikido is enough to challenge most egos! But as you develop proficiency, I will demand more. I am a fallible human and am not always going to get this right. For this reason, I always want you to come talk to me if there are any issues or concerns about training. 

This pushing does not work if the culture at large doesn't support it. We support one another by believing in the dojo and our training. Behaving like you believe in the dojo usually means giving more. It could mean always setting aside time after class to help clean up, taking your own training seriously even when you don't feel like it, or helping a classmate that is having a hard time. But it's a real knife edge! It can also mean noticing that you're judging others about not cleaning up as well as you do, or resisting the urge to give unsolicited advice to someone who didn't ask.

The reason the etiquette page is a set of prompts instead of a list of rules is because no list of rules is long enough to account for any thoughtless thing any of us might do, and because any list of rules can be weaponized. That would decrease the spiritual safety of the dojo.

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